My Sweet Kaebrie...

Today, my heart is full of a deep love for my sweet Kaebrie.  She hasn't been the easiest child for me to figure out and at times I wish away these hard times.  Two years ago, when I closed my store and went through all the emotions of knowing that I needed to be home, I lived in regret.  Regret so deep that I figured there was no hope for me to ever live a happy life.  I regretted working, leaving my kids, setting my family back in financial hardship, building a large unnecessary home and loosing it,and not being able to give any one thing 100% of my time and attention.  I was in survival mode.  I just had to keep my head above water before I sunk.  Kaebrie has been my lifesaver. It has taken me this long to realize this.  She needed me to help her with her problems and I needed her to help me with mine.  There were many days when I knelt on the floor of my closet and poured out my heart and soul to my Father in Heaven and asked "What next", "Who am I", and "Why have all of these things happened to me"?
 Even though I understand my soul purpose here I still questioned my existence.

I am so happy to have Kaebrie so healthy now.  It took me a whole year of prayer, fasting, and faith.  I was led to a chiropractor that has truly helped her in so many ways and on so many levels.  Now, I am up against some additional testing that will begin soon.  I blame myself for anything negative that Kaebrie does or says.  Her bad behavior has really been my fault.  Until now.  I went and visited Diane and Jerry and got great insight on the possibility that Kaebrie may have SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder).  Although as a mother you never want to accept that your child has a disorder, I knew that this fit her overall to a "T".  Since birth, she has had several little things that I have just adapted to or blamed my parenting on.  I believe I am on the right track now.  Just had to write my pre-feelings about the next journey we are going to take.  Hopefully I can help Kaebrie understand that life truly is a gift and we must cherish every single second of our time here on earth.

Disneyland

 

For Christmas, I gave Jeff a two night stay in Palm Springs, CA. 

Because there is nothing that he wanted or needed, but a vacation!  So, we decided to go to Disneyland with the kids, spent time with family and have a little getaway all wrapped into one big load of FUN. 

Let me just tell you, IT WAS FANTASTIC!  We had so much fun.

 

We went straight over to Cars Land on our first day to ride on McQueens raceway. 

It was the coolest thing ever! 

We walked into Radiator Springs and I was on the verge on crying.  By verge I mean, I covered it up well because Jeff would've died laughing at me.  It was so magical to see how detailed everything is and how the kids light up at every little thing.  I am just a weirdo I guess:)

 Kaebrie was one lucky little lady... We took her to eat lunch at Ariel's grotto and she got to meet Ariel, Cinderella, Snow White, Aurora, and Belle. It was very pricey but considering the amount of happy and excited emotions and the yummy food, it was worth every penny.

 Kaebrie also got to meet Rupunzel, Eugene, and Merida.  Eugene had his facial expressions down to a "T".  Merida had the accent down from Brave.  What does Disney not do?  Everything is so real and magical.  And EXPENSIVE....

 

 Teacups! Pure nausea for me...

 Kaebrie had apple slices, carrot sticks, and orange juice with her lunch.  She decided she wanted to make a fruit salad.  She chopped every single thing up into tiny pieces and poured her orange juice in it.  Then, surprisingly she ate it all up...  Funny girl, good times!

 

 We learned that we have a thrill seeker on our hands. Owen loved all the scary fast rides. His favorite was the Tower of Terror. He rode it so many times! It's an old hotel that has an elevator that drops over and over. Owen took me on it once and I swore I would never do it again. Then, Kaebrie wanted to go on it so of course Jeff and Owen had to take us on it! Let me just tell you, it was hysterical. Someone, let a smelly nervous fart (not kidding) right before the elevator dropped. Kaebrie had the look of death on her white scared face. Afterwards, she was super proud of herself.

 

After Disneyland we went and stayed with Jerry and Diane for two days.  Then Jeff and I went and stayed in Palm Springs for two nights.  It was a vacation to remember!  We had a blast...



Christmas 2012...

 

 Ward Christmas Party. Dressed as shepherds.

 Making ornaments at my parents Christmas party.

 Kaebrie's ornament.  It wasn't exactly done correctly but was done Kaebrie style for sure.

 Cute Dayne.

 Owen was the star in the nativity.

 Sweet Avery was Mary.  She was darling!

 Skylar was Joseph.

 Monica laughing at um... fart maybe!  Hee hee...

 Alex, Dayne and Chylee.

 Playing minute to win it.

 

 Christmas Eve.

 The little people nativity on Christmas Eve.

 Christmas morning was perfect!

 Santa ate his cookies and the reindeer ate their carrots and apple.

 We had some of Jeff's family over on Christmas day.  It was so good to be with them.  Jim and Lori were here from Chicago.  My parents came down for dinner.  It was fun to just be at home and not out driving around all day.  The best part:  The kids weren't sick!!!!

 

We had such a great Christmas this year. It was full of service, love, baking, family and friends, and the true spirit of Christmas was in our home. I don't recall ever in the past ten years of my adult life, a Christmas filled with such feelings. I am sure most of this was because I have never been able to enjoy the season without a million things on my agenda. 

I truly love my family.  This year has been so difficult for a few of my siblings.  I will always love and respect them no matter what decisions they make.  After all, they will always be my siblings!  I now understand the meaning of the statement "Appreciate what you have because when it's gone, you will miss it". I miss my brother and love him and his family so much. 

Prayers, prayers, and more prayers.

Snow storm...

The kids had a blast playing in the snow.  I remember as a child building forts, igloos, and snowmen.  I do not remember though how heavy the snow gets when you roll huge snowman parts.  I was so excited to go and build a snowman with the kids.  After I rolled the bottom part, I began rolling the middle ball.  I was so excited to build a huge snowman!  After attempting several times to lift that giant middle ball on to the bottom, I was struggling to breath and came to the realization that my snowman needed to be downsized quite a bit.  It wasn't in the cards for me.  It was impossible to pick up.  Why didn't I remember that snow weighed so much?  It was fun to try and the kids had fun laughing at me.  As Owen said, next time we will have to build a snowman when dad gets home to help.